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jediknight1405
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Name: David
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Springfield
Birthday: 6/12/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: art (sometimes), being anti-wheels, books, falafel, God, guitar, lists arranged alphabetically, lyrics/poetry, movies, music, overthinking, thinking, writing
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/8/2005
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| Seriously.
About a week ago, I was washing some dishes in my apartment. I found the sponge buried under a pile of dirty dishes and sitting in water. I knew Andy had been washing dishes last, so I told him that he needs to rinse out sponges and set them somewhere where they can dry so they don't get nasty and start growing things.
Less than a minute later, the episode of Family Guy playing on TV featured a Star Trek convention, where the cast of The Next Generation is answering questions, and fans start asking mundane, everyday questions. A clueless fan asks how he can keep his sponges from turning black, and (animated) Patrick Stewart pretty much repeats what I had just said to Andy.
That's all.
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| I stick my hand-drawn nametag on my shirt
as I walk through the propped-wide doors
that leave no choice about entering.
I missed class this morning to iron my shirt;
now I can smell it, the stale/fresh scent
of clothes burned flat is released by sweet sweat.
I look ahead at the rows of booths
in front of them stand people in suits
pressed and flattened like my shirt, smiling.
I’m supposed to be smiling too, I remember.
Did they brush their teeth and chew Stride gum
a few minutes ago, too?
As I walk towards a booth, I decide
I really don’t want to play their game,
even as I smile and shake the hand
of the woman who trades me a glossy brochure
for my résumé. When I walk away,
I regret not making enough eye contact
or smiling
as much as I meant to.
Maybe I didn’t mean to.
Maybe I just want to go back
to my room and write a poem.
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| I realized today that a couple years ago I had a breakthrough in the way I think, and I believe it was triggered by, of all things, an episode of Will & Grace. Please bear with me.
In this episode, Will and Grace are both interested in the same man. Will is sure the man is gay, and Grace is convinced he is straight. They spend the episode fighting and testing their theories, trying to expose the man as gay or straight. By the end of the episode, both the audience and characters are thoroughly confused about the true nature of this man’s sexuality. They finally confront him, he is shocked, and replies, “isn’t it obvious?” Of course, it isn’t, and he walks away without revealing to Will, Grace or the audience the answer. Jack, however, who claims to have perfect “gaydar,” tells them he knows if the man is gay or straight, but doesn’t give the secret away.
My mom, who was watching the episode with me (slightly awkward for a number of reasons), said when it was over, “Oh, they’re not going to tell us, are they?” I was about to share her disappointment, but that’s when I realized something.
It didn’t matter. At worst it would have ruined the joke of the episode, and at best it simply didn’t matter. It was funny because they were bickering over figuring out this secret, and the man thought it was plainly obvious. What made it satisfying (or as satisfying as an episode of Will & Grace can be) was the characters and their interactions. The joke wouldn’t have been any funnier if we found out which one of them was right; it might have even ruined it.
I believe that is where my thinking changed. It’s so easy to want to know the answer to trivial things, and often we can miss the point of something, even if that thing is as inconsequential as a TV show episode. Sometimes, facts are just cold facts. I think since that time I have approached books, movies, and TV differently. It’s probably the writer in me, but it is ultimately more satisfying to focus on “who” and “why” instead of simply “what.”
Maybe what made me remember all this was watching the movie Doubt recently (infinitely more valuable that Will & Grace, I might add). It is about a religious sister who suspects a parish priest of abusing a young boy, and must find out if her suspicions are true. I don’t want to say too much about this movie since I think it is so well-made and worth watching, but as a viewer I encountered a similar problem: simply finding out the facts, versus the very human characters involved, and how they act as a result of what they think they know.
Sometimes, even if you don’t get all your questions actually answered, you may learn more than you originally set out to discover.
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| I consider myself a writer, but sometimes I wonder why I write so little. Whether it is short stories, poems, or even Xanga entries, it doesn't feel like I've written very much. I've noticed I don't write very much outside of creative writing classes, and even within class there are only so many stories or poems assigned in a semester. I think I need more practice, but I don't seem to quite have the drive on my own.
I think it is hardest to write about the things that are most important to me. Words suddenly seem very crude when I try to describe them.
I know I love my family and my friends; I've come to appreciate my family especially in recent years. I think often children don't really care much about anything that doesn't immediately benefit them, and aren't even grateful when something does. So I think I've become more aware and when I'm home I am less demanding (I hope). But to put those feelings into words, it's so easy to say things like, "Oh, I love my family, I'd do anything for my friends." Well goodness, I hope so.
Same thing with religion or God. It is really difficult to write about God. It's so easy to write trite sentiments, and there are plenty of those in contemporary christian music or on Hallmark cards. I think I once considered writing a religious song in high school, but I felt like I could only repeat what had already been done, and it wouldn't really feel honest.
I don't mind listing things about myself, like favorite books, artists, or even interests. But I hate the "About me" part of websites, where it's as if you're expected to sum up everything you are in a paragraph. That's dizzying, and the best most people can do is make jokes and be light-hearted. People who do try to actually define who they are in these spaces seem shallow to me. Anyone can write that they are caring, intelligent, and love their friends more than anything; it's too easy.
I think that's why I like art, whether it's novels, short-stories, poetry, music, etc. Most probably started with simple thoughts or feelings, but simply relating those sentiments isn't moving for others; they can't feel what you felt just because you told them you felt it. But art can actually move people, and often in ways the artist didn't anticipate. Art is alive. Sometimes I can't fully understand why I feel moved by a particular song, but that doesn't diminish it's power. Having something spelled out literally can be meaningless sometimes.
Sometimes when I write a song it's less like I'm "making up" something and more like I'm a channel for something outside me; I'm allowing something to be created. Maybe that's in part why I don't feel the need to procreate and I don't feel any loss. I would like to think I will be contributing to the world not merely by adding to the population, but will hopefully be moving and affecting people who are already here. Yes, I want a family of my own someday, but I'd rather take in someone who is unwanted and be able to provide them a home. I think there's a need for that, and I think I could fill that need.
So yeah, words...
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| This has been a year of:
Hello Hallo Holland
Aunt Martha's
Valentines Concert/Dance
Short stories
Admission to EA program
Not-dating
Pi Day/Andy Birthday Concert
Once
Public Speaking
Troubadour-ing
Sharon, what were you thinking?
Goodbye Hallo Holland
Open mic nights
Ben Folds concert (numero dos)
Back-rubs
Missa Solemnis
Dierbergs (for the last time)
MacBook Pro
Recording Equipment
Catering
Spilling drinks on wedding guests
Birthday (I generally have one each year)
Un-birthdays
Family Reunion (White Russians)
Viva la Vida
Wall-E!
Recorded birthday wishes (with outtakes)
Recording
Brewery
The Dark Knight
San Francisco
American Apparel
Porn for Women
Porn for New Mothers
White Wedding Tea
Lucky Bamboo
New roommates
Same old Sunvilla
Poetry (and "so what poems")
Beatles, Beatles Beatles...
Heroes
New band (sort of)
Apples to Apples
Baroque Pop (RIP or DOA, I'm not sure which)
Fleet Foxes
New Ben Folds
Rufus
Sarah Palin
Voice lessons
Guitar lessons
Beatles cover band
Documentary "consultant" (or something)
Not getting jobs
New job
First short story submitted
STD Flea Market
Obama
Prop 8
Guitar Manual
Rock Band
Scattergories
Charades
Crazy Drunk Girl
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